| Oh, how hard I had worked on inner hearing! All the
different techniques I had practiced, all the things I
had heard and read, as if saying, "When the Lord of the
dance comes he will do the waltz so learn that one...
or, no no, it will be the cha-cha... or..."
Practice, practice much and diligently. Basically the
many paths spoke of learning the steps, putting on fine
soul garments (and comfortable shoes!)... as if the
Descent of Grace looks across the ballroom of our world
and picks as Its partners the beautiful ones who have
worked hardest.
When Grace took my hand I felt utterly embarassed.
I knew that I was very good at all the steps but now
-- oh my! -- little inadequate me would be clumsy and
step on feet.
Then I learned that The Dance is not two together but
a flow of One.
I don't get spine tingles or rushes of Kundalini but
rather, now, for me, it is like a warm, large hat that
when it is on, makes me feel extremely light. It enters
from above coming into the head as a warm honey sweetness,
then falls downward to the chest. I must be weird because
when I am like that, the lower centers are hardly felt
at all.
Sometimes I am giddy in a spiritual intoxication where
everything is in slow motion. I would describe it as
"wearing a hat," not a feeling of pressure but the sense
that I am "sitting" in the crown. I can go about my
work from here but not on a daily basis; I slip and
get too involved in the world.
For me, opening my eyes is fine but once the mental
gets involved, it begins slipping away. There are certain
points in this awareness where I cannot speak. It is
physically very difficult. I have not understood this
but don't feel a great need to. I also know that forcing
the issue and making myself speak does work but begins
to chip away at what I want to hold on to. Sometimes
when visiting with certain people we both know that
we are both sitting in the crown and talking from there.
It's a place where really no conversation or contact
is needed. It's a state of being rather than just a
quiet understanding or a pal thing.
What I find interesting is that I never know when IT
is going to hit. I can be doing the most mundane chores;
I am just full of gratitude and consider IT a grace.
IT comes more frequently now and also lasts much longer
as I am getting more adept at sitting in the crown and
dancing from the heart. In the past I would use methods
and sometimes be very disappointed.
What I found worked for me was to do the methods and
then just continue in a purity of thought, word, and
deed and then... IT happens. I would go in and out of
techniques and then wait. I think the waiting and the
purity are the most important stages. Work on the inner
planes takes time. And then that very important time
of no work, staying in a quiet knowing. This is what
I have learned...
To keep my dancing shoes on.
Copyright 2000 Maureen Heffernan
Rev.
Maureen Heffernan's website is here. |
