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Call
it mystery if you like. That mysteriousness is
called grace. There is no difference. It is a
mystery and it will always remain a mystery. This
mystery, this secret is so very sacred, you will
not be able to tell me about it. When I took you
to that place, you could not tell me about it.
If it were not a secret, surely you would tell
me about it, because you know me. I will not deceive
you. You did not tell me what was happening in
this instant because you couldn't. It is so secret,
two cannot walk abreast there. Not even one. Not
the body, not the mind, not the senses, not even
the discriminative intellect. That is That.
I
have been trying for the last sixty years, but
I cannot solve this mystery. I have never been
able to solve this secret. I am an old man. You
are very young, so please speak to me. I want
to see that secret, that mystery face to face.
I want to kiss Him, I want to kiss Her, because
I have not seen a beauty like this beauty anywhere
on the face of this planet. I am in love with
someone, but the Beloved I have not seen.
How
did I end up sitting at your feet like this? What
kind of miracle is this that put me here?
You
have called. It is your invitation.
Papaji,
you recommend that we don't read books about awakening
because it just creates the preconception and
expectation of what awakening will feel like,
taste like, of what it will be like. What then
do you hope to convey about it in an interview?
I
don't recommend that you read any sacred books
or books about saints. When you read a spiritual
book, you will probably like some part of it.
If you read it and like it, you store it in the
memory. Later, you sit in meditation, trying to
get freedom. You want to be free, and you have
a conception of freedom which you have acquired
from your books. When you meditate, this preconceived
idea will manifest and you will experience it.
You forget that what you are experiencing is something
that is stored in your memory. What you get is
a past experience, not enlightenment. The real
experience is not an experience of a past memory.
The mind deceives you when you meditate. The mind
is always going to deceive you and cheat you,
so don't depend on the mind. If the mind wants
or likes something, don't listen to it. Whatever
the mind likes, dislike it. Memory means past.
When you meditate, you are trying to execute a
plan which is in your mind: 'I have to arrive
at the place I have read about.' Your later experience
is therefore preplanned and that is what you get,
because whatever the mind thinks, it manifests.
When
you have a thought of samsara, manifestation
arises. This is your thought, your wish. That
is why the world manifests. It looks so real to
you because you have faith in its reality. Once
you experience that Reality is somewhere else,
you will reject samsara instantly. You
will have a very new, very fresh experience. Each
moment will be new. You will not experience it
with the mind. Then there will be no mind, you
will be all alone. This and this alone is called
'experience'. I won't use the word experience
again because all experiences are planned from
the past. It is not really going to be an experience,
it is going to be a very direct meeting. For the
first time you will meet That. You will go to
meet It after denuding your mind, after denuding
all the concepts of the mind. You have to go there
undressed. Undress everything. Be nude. Even denude
yourself of the nudity. Do you understand? The
chamber of this Beloved is so sacred, this is
the only way you can enter. If you want to meet
your Beloved, go there. Who stops you? Do it now
itself. It is so simple. To dress up takes time.
To undress is much easier.
Yesterday
you told a story about a Guru who was so deeply
engrossed in meditation, he didn't care for his
sick son. Someone asked you about responsibility.
I also want to ask you the same question: 'Is
freedom also freedom from responsibility?'
The
man who asked me about this came to me again.
I told him that this was a story of a saint, his
wife and his son. I told him, 'You do not relate
to any one of these three, neither the son, nor
the wife, nor the husband. This is a story of
a saint and his wife. You have to become either
a saint, or his wife to know. Or at least his
son.' Then he kept quiet and said he was satisfied.
Responsibilities
have been there for a long time. You have a mind
and an ego which says, 'This belongs to me and
that belongs to him'. From this, responsibility
arises.
Who
is the father of all this creation? Before your
birth, this samsara, this creation, was
already there. It has been here for millions of
years. Who looked after it during all this time?
You have been looking after your own responsibilities,
your own liabilities, for about thirty years.
After seventy years you will not be looking after
them any longer. Your responsibilities and liabilities,
the span of your duty, cannot be more than a hundred
years. What about the millions of years before
you? Who is responsible for the billions of activities
that went on before you were born?
If
you accept responsibility for your family, your
son, your wife, your society, your country and
all others in the world, you have to move your
mind, your body and your intellect. Don't you?
To fulfill these responsibilities you need three
things: good health, which means a good body,
a good mind, which means good intentions, and
compassion. Where do you draw these things from?
Where do you get the energy to move the body so
that you can help others physically? Where do
you get the energy to move the mind to send compassion
to others? Where do you draw this energy to act?
It
is drawn from grace.
If
you know that you are drawing the energy from
grace, how and why do things become your own responsibility?
This bulb is shining, light is there. Can the
lamp say, 'It is my light! If I want to shine
I will shine, and if I don't there will be darkness'?
The light does not come from here. The reservoir,
the source of it, is somewhere else. If this lamp
says, 'I am bright. Because of me you can see,'
it is mistaken. It doesn't know. Where does the
current come from? Where does the electricity
come from? There was a chief electrical engineer
who worked in this place, so I asked him: What
is electricity? If you break the wire through
which the current is passing to give us light,
I don't see anything.'
He
answered, 'We do not know yet. Somehow it works.
Electricity is generated, but where it ultimately
comes from, that we still do not know. We do not
know what is the original source of that power
which flows through the wires.'
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